Selfishness or Self Compassion
What is the difference between selfishness and self compassion?
We are often advised against self-centeredness but if we are not centered, how can we see our world clearly? If we do not have self compassion, can we see our world with compassion?
Being centered and balanced within our selves is imperative to being able to see our world as centered and balanced as well. Many see today’s world as horribly out of balance—the wealthy appear to have control while the rest seem to have none. By understanding our true personal power we can understand that, in fact, we do have control.
We live in a world filled with powerful things and, indeed, we are our selves are quite powerful. We can, if we like, decide what we wish to do and what we wish to have in our world when we understand what we truly want. Please be aware that we decide what jobs we take and in what activities we spend our days.
The world appears to be constructed of rules that seem inescapable. They are not, in fact we ourselves decide which rules are important to us and what community we chose to live in.
We do actually create our own belief system and use this personal belief system to make decisions as to what is important to us. The bills that we pay keep us warm, keep a roof over our heads, and food on our table, but we decide where that roof will be and what food we will eat.
Most food is healthy and to some degree and through our own belief system we actually decide if the food that we eat is healthy for us or not. Refined foods can be less expensive but may not be the healthiest for us. They may actually be more difficult for our bodies to make into nourishment. Addictive fats and sweeteners may be nurturing only to the mind as comfort foods but they may not help us to live comfortably.
The roof over our heads may need a mortgage that requires a job that does not nurture us and that job may actually keep us from realizing our dreams. We must ask ourselves if the roof is shelter or confinement. When we remove the glamour from the lifestyle that the advertising companies make so appealing, we can look more clearly at what we really want. What would happen if you sold the house believing that there was an even more nurturing environment to live in, one that would be more affordable with a job that gave you more joy? Take some time with this thought.
When we are centered and balanced we have inner peace and can truly make decisions about where we want to live and what we love to do. There is a possibility that what we truly love doing would have us live somewhere more nurturing. Our fears are the guards we have posted at the gates to our current lifestyle. We must understand that we have hired these guards and have given them the power to contain us in a lifestyle that may be something less than our dreams. Only our fears or those that we have adopted from others may prevent change to a better life.
We can plan our escape and release the power we have given to others and our fears. This may seem like heresy, especially to those that take the lion’s share from our hard work. It may seem foolish to those of us who are not ready to make change. Many may say that these types of thought are madness, but when we are truly tired of working for others and wish to follow our own dreams it may be time to plan our escape.
I have escaped and to those that would like to experience this freedom as well, I would say to first create a time of peace and a sanctuary within the confines of your current world. Take time for yourself. Think about what your dreams are. Then ask yourself if you ready and willing to make this change? Understand that you deserve a life without drudgery but it will take courage and work to reclaim your dreams. Your family may, or may not, understand. They may choose to join you or perhaps not. When you have finished this life, die and pass on to whatever is next, you will be judged by whatever you believe is true. You may be married or partnered to someone that does not share your dreams, then as difficult as it may be, you must decide whose dream you are living.
When you understand your dreams clearly enough to share them, is it possible that those you share your life with secretly share similar dreams? Perhaps they would prefer to be following their own and it is time for a change for both of you and a chance to remain friends. So take the time to understand what your dreams are, what they look like, and how you will actually live them. Take the time to explore your dreams.
Find others who have a similar dream and are living it, those that may have made the same kind of changes in their lives. Ask them about their experiences, get their perspective and how they may or may not have done things differently.
Begin by dreaming. Sit quietly, undisturbed, meditate or find some personal quiet time and begin to formulate what a more joyful life might look like. Ponder and explore your dreams knowing that you deserve them. Plan your first steps and consider how you will handle any challenges that may arise. Talk with others who have followed a similar path. Talk with those in your life that may be effected. Make this change a loving one to yourself and for those who love you, regardless if they support your making a change or not. Open your mind to see and change your belief system. Release the fears that you have learned from others. Live the life that you dream of and move towards it with love. Above all, have the courage to follow your dream.
This is self compassion, not selfishness.
